free

December 24, 2008

I was thinking today about how rarely we ever feel completely free. I’m talking about releasing all your inhibitions, everything that holds you back from what you are truly thinking, feeling, wanting. What is it that makes us restrict ourselves from feeling free? I went on a photoshoot yesterday, and as I was editing pictues, I came to this one..

Mandy

I began to think to myself about that feeling of freedom. Look at the joy in her face, her arms high in the air. This is free. What is keeping me from this? What is keeping you from this?

I want to feel free more often! I want to let loose, and have fun with life!

emotions

December 19, 2008

I was talking with a friend about a week ago, and she turned to me and said, “you know, sometimes you are just so hard to read.” I really enjoy it when a friend is close enough to call me out on something. I have been thinking about why I can be “hard to read” lately.

I think there are several reasons why a person can become like that. For me, I grew up wearing every single emotion on my sleeve. It was easy to tell if I was happy, angry, content, annoyed, dissatisfied, telling the truth, or trying to tell a lie. Over time, wearing those emotions became a way that people could easily take advantage of me… and they did. Its crazy how this world works, it really is a kill or be killed, survival of the fittest world. I found if a hid my emotions it was easier for me to get by from day to day. A downside to doing this is that I tend to bottle up those emotions that I hide every day… and everyone knows that’s not good. So that’s something that I continually work on because I am such a non-confrontational person. 

Anyways.. Update on life: next week is the christmas production, and christmas itself so that should be fun. Fingers are still crossed for the new year.. We’ll see what it holds for me.

accept

December 9, 2008

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

Sometimes quotes stand out to me, and I spend my day thinking about every possible meaning of the quote, and whether I think it’s true or not. This quote is brilliant. What is it about a person that makes them think they dont deserve a certain amount of love? Why is it so hard to accept love that we think we dont deserve? 

Tonight is the dream team banquet, and I’m really looking forward to it. I feel like I should be working it somehow tho. Its going to be sort of weird to go up to the church to just enjoy a fun night. Who knows, I might get my hands on a little work before the night’s over!

update

December 5, 2008

tonight was the switch leaders christmas party. not only was it really great to hang out with tons of friends, but it was awesome to hear of the amazing things God is doing in switch, and the huge vision they have for the student ministries in the near future. i love getting pumped up about God! He really is in motion, and He really is touching and changing the lives of people around me every day. 

im excited for a lot of things. im excited for highlands, im excited for christmas, and im excited for my future… whatever that may hold.