indifference

November 26, 2008

why does it seem like with joy there always comes sorrow? with every happy moment there is a sad one right there to compliment it. It’s kinda like you cant have the good without the bad. well im SICK of the bad!! the only solution i have ever come close to grasping in this situation is: indifference. like for example.. say you like this girl, and you start dating but then she completely breaks your heart. well, this would have never happened if you would have been indifferent about the whole situation to begin with. i guess what i’m sort of getting at is that i think i would rather be emotionally numb to any sort of feelings whatsoever than go through the pain and suffering that goes along with pouring your heart into something, only to get nothing in return. 


i’m in a very critical time in my life right now. and i decided to pour my heart into it.. i have worked harder at this than anything i’ve ever done. i really really really want this to follow through, because if it doesnt.. then i’m afraid i might have lost hope. this might be the final blow that brings me to my knees. but at the same time, if it does follow through, this could be my saving grace. so, yes, i would say this is a very critical time in my life right now.

maybe not for always, but would it be too much to ask to be numb right now?
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